Bad drivers ,incompetent writing

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Bad drivers ,incompetent writing

Message Board > Found on the web > Bad drivers ,incompetent writing

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grimlord
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The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

* The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

* As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

* Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

* A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

* I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

* The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

* In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

* I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

* I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

* I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

* My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

* I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

* I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.

* The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

* I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

* The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck the front end.

* An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. - Thu, 11 Sep 2008 2:24pm

trevor corey
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Laughed my ass off.
Thanks Lord Grimm. - Fri, 12 Sep 2008 2:19pm

Mr. Hell
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Genuinely funny, Rimlord. I also laughed out loud.
I wonder what one of your written accident statements would read like? - Sun, 14 Sep 2008 4:04pm

stew
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hahahah oh god - Thu, 18 Sep 2008 11:52pm

Bounce
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I know what the verbal would be…lol… it would go something like this….”I swear….”cough cough”…I was not…”choke gag”…smoking a dube “hork gag cough” in the car officer!!!…lol…love you Graham Cracker!!!!! - Wed, 24 Sep 2008 10:29am

Rubber Box
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I think you missed a couple coughs and at least 3 more hork gags. - Wed, 24 Sep 2008 2:24pm

ROSS B AY
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"dube". - Wed, 24 Sep 2008 5:15pm

grimlord
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some people call it chiken peckin or snork huwk, if you dont cough you dont get off.And I think it inproves my voice - Thu, 25 Sep 2008 3:19pm

Bounce
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Hey now...I don't smoke weed and can't spell worth shit...so DUBE was the best I could come up with...lol...I think your coughing is funny Grim...every friday night around 8pm...lol...oh and fuck the fuck off ROSS - Thu, 25 Sep 2008 3:46pm

ROSS B AY
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Easy, tits. Calm down. - Thu, 25 Sep 2008 7:14pm

Bounce
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my tits are not easy....lol...although they can be after a few smirnoffs...they tend to make appearances around the city now and then....lol...oh you know I love you...now fuck off! carry on! - Fri, 26 Sep 2008 2:13pm

ROSS B AY
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1x60 pounder of Smirnoffs it is then!!! - Fri, 26 Sep 2008 2:50pm

Bounce
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